To Elizabeth III

To Liz, in the back who I can tell hasn’t been listening to any of my set so far today:
I could’ve been good.
It’s possible that I might be saying something interesting
something worthwhile
something that could have spoken to you.
It’s possible that I could have spoken to you
and had you been listening,
you might have spoken to me afterwards
and we could have gotten along
and this could have been the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.

But you weren’t listening
so you have no idea
if I was good.
You’ve got not clue whatsoever
if I’m anything worth hearing
because to you, clearly, I’m not.
That’s a shame,
because I think you’re worth hearing.
I mean, not now.
Right now, I think you’re trash.
But before this instant,
I thought you had potential
that you could have been worth listening to
that you might have had something to say.

Now, I’m just begging you to shut up.

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