HEAVY BALLAST

When we met
in our stubborn youth
thirty seemed so far away
a barrier we’d never need breach.

Now, that obstacle
is diminished to a dot
so far behind us
and we have other hurdles
to overcome
like myopia
and arthritis
and Big Balls Disease
– or is that one just me?

We have collected a history
that grows
unintentionally.
Grows, exponentially,
Grows, uberfungally.
It is beyond our control
and, even if
we avoid each other for weeks
or get into arguments for months
or you avoid my calls for years
– the current situation –
we have our past as ballast.

And you may think
that our shared past means little
and the future looks bright ahead
but your moustache betrays you.
Flecked and pale,
it tells a tale of years gone
and I know older tales of first cuts
deep cuts
and darker days of
your original hair color.

Despite yourself,
you cannot forsake me.
I know where the bodies are buried,
you dig?
I know too much
and so do you.