Monthly Archives: March 2012

Big Fat Daddy

Posted on March 26, 2012 - 9:34 pm by Jonathan Berger

BIG FAT DADDY Here’s a Big Fat Daddy looking for a Sugar Mamma to bite. I’m a Big Fat Daddy looking for a Sugar Mamma to bite. I want a crazy kinda lady who provides for my ginormous appetite. I’m … Continue reading →

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Lessons for the Generations

Posted on March 26, 2012 - 9:34 pm by Jonathan Berger

LESSONS FOR THE GENERATIONS Mom, Dad: The molestation has got to stop. Granted, it makes a fellah feel loved but not in the ways this fellah wants these days. I know: You were brought up in different times with different … Continue reading →

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All Apologies #892

Posted on March 20, 2012 - 2:08 pm by Jonathan Berger

ALL APOLOGIES #892 Apologies to Anna: I didn’t know you were so drunk or that it was your first time. I didn’t realize that you’d be upset that I’d brag about it after we left the bathroom or how angry … Continue reading →

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To The Guy I Tripped on on my Way to the Stage

Posted on March 20, 2012 - 12:16 am by Jonathan Berger

TO THE GUY I TRIPPED ON ON MY WAY TO THE STAGE Fuck you, you fucking fuck. You fucking retard. Why would you stand there knowing I was coming this way? Didn’t it occur to you that someone important might … Continue reading →

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A Product Request

Posted on March 19, 2012 - 7:46 pm by Jonathan Berger

A PRODUCT REQUEST More boob. The photos you send me online should show more boobage and more fishnet and more slut. The cleavage quotient that you provide is diminished, deteriorated and takes too long to download. There should be more … Continue reading →

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Requirements

Posted on March 18, 2012 - 11:12 pm by Jonathan Berger

REQUIREMENTS You don’t have to be a quadrillionaire or build a business or have a big family or become a celebrity. You don’t need to have a legacy or set yourself apart from your parents or take care of your … Continue reading →

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Scorned Earth

Posted on March 18, 2012 - 3:40 am by Jonathan Berger

SCORNED EARTH She said, You should know better than to argue with a Philosophy major in law school. His mind is sharp, his arguments elastic, his wit and will to win inexhaustible. The law student with a major in philosophy … Continue reading →

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Park on Park

Posted on March 18, 2012 - 12:21 am by Jonathan Berger

PARK ON PARK Her 364 days of sobriety began with an unfortunate night last year when she had a little too much whiskey and far too much bourbon. She ended up on a park bench on Park Avenue minus her … Continue reading →

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Your Illustrious Past

Posted on March 17, 2012 - 11:49 pm by Jonathan Berger

YOUR ILLUSTRIOUS PAST Please don’t tell me the details of your days on the streets and the things you sometimes did to find something to eat or drink or stick inside you to feel all right. Spare me those details; … Continue reading →

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Sounds of the Street

Posted on March 17, 2012 - 10:11 pm by Jonathan Berger

SOUNDS OF THE STREET She called me from another coast asking if was awake. I am now, I said. I just, she said, I just needed to talk to someone. Someone familiar. Someone nice. I didn’t feel very nice or … Continue reading →

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