Author Archives: Jonathan Berger

This fictional genius I just created just let me knowshe reengineered a busted old motorcycle she saw lying around. "I had a few hours to kill," she explained, and showed me the goods. It was a forcefield-contained, earth-environment sustained flying … Continue reading →

Coffee sales are up, the media has alerted us. No one is shocked. Everything sales are up. The free market has been bitchslapped by gardening gloves with claws on them and then penetrated in many holes with the same hands. … Continue reading →

Is this route directly to Old Cathay? Would you like another Fanta, Ray? Is Rudy on the way to Santa’s, eh? If you had the cash would you wanna stay? We could go another way. This whole trip we could … Continue reading →

If I can avoid it, I try not to speak ill, but of my girlfriend’s cooking, I’ve surely had my fill. Though I want to take her out, she makes most of our meals and we sit over dinners that … Continue reading →

The days are getting more dangerous. The poisons are running through. The people have had enough. Happy Mother’s Day to you. The world is in a crisis; the papers looong overdue. Civil wars are bubbling up all over. Happy Mother’s … Continue reading →

Grey and me reviewing the past: “That April was something!” “And then that May rolled around right afterward. I can’t believe it all happened so fast, so quickly!” “Damn, in all so short a time!” The past has a way … Continue reading →

The day is almost over and I have found that I have said nothing of merit for the entire day. Having noted the trend seems to have had no effect on the quality of my speech. Perception seems to have … Continue reading →

I’d like to say hello but I’m not sure where you are anymore so I’ll just send this word out to the ether and hope you hear me somewhere out there and feel the good vibes. Maybe someday you could … Continue reading →

Sometimes the words mean nothing, nothing but wonder that the language can communicate at all, magic in the transmutational ability to work one sentence into sensational otherness. Words can do this. Words can move our mouths from one mess of … Continue reading →

I don’t think I approve of my roommate having sex when I’m not. I feel like there should be a compact. A sexless house when one of us is dry and I’ve been dry since Carter. This isn’t something we’ve … Continue reading →