ALL APOLOGIES #459

To all you fuckers who complained
about me eating a sandwich
on the train
right up on top of you yesterday:

In retrospect,
I was hasty
in my reaction
It was rude of me
to push that one guy,
to smear the mustard side
of the bread
on that kid,
and to shove that pregnant widow
to escape the car.

I was curt
and harsh in my reactions
perhaps, but
I really couldn’t bear
much more
of the yap yap yapping,
you know?

It really didn’t seem like a big deal:
I was hungry.
I bought a sandwich.
I opened it
to make sure
they got the order right.
It smelled good,
so I chomping down.

I’m sorry
if the cheese was strongly aromatic
or if the sauce dribbled
on the nun to my right.
(though I’m not even sure that was a real nun
– don’t they fly or something?)

I’m sorry that you think
our enclosed traveling box
was the wrong place
and the wrong time
for me to take my lunch
but
was it really necessary
to try to make a citizen’s arrest?
Did you have pull the emergency break?
Bad form, really.
I barely got out of there safely,
and it was only thanks
to the conveniently placed
– and shoved –
pregnant widow
I previously referenced.

But I’ve learned my lesson,
I swear.
and promise
that if I could go back in time
to resolve yesterday’s situation,
I would have gotten onto
a different car to begin with –
one with less uptight riders.

So: truce?