WON

No,
I do not want to play.
I didn’t want to play in the first place.
These things should not be games,
after all,
but something more serious
more profound
more important.

I do not go to those darkened dance halls
with the intent of toying
with anyone’s affections.
I am looking for something deeper
more beautiful
more sexy.

And I don’t like the competitive nature
that so often occurs
with races to completion,
chases to the finish line,
gestures of deceit
just to seal the deal.

None of this
is what I seek.
These are goals
I hope to kick.

But sometimes
despite it all,
despite my desperation
and despair,
I see someone
in these fields of love and war
and it all seems fun
for an instant or three
or sometimes more.

I believe
for short moments
that I have found that special someone
who will set me free,
let me be me,
and we’ll become two.

I thought that was so
last night
until this morning
when I see,
sadly,
it remains a game
which April won
and I lost.