IMPLAUSIBLE ODDS

To the male and female star
of this dumb rom com I’ve endured
for the last sixty five minutes:
Is there gonna be any fucking?
It’s been an interminable while
and I’ve been patient
but really
I’m about ready for SOMETHING to go on
and so far
this ain’t it.

I don’t know who wrote you guys
but, hot as y’all are
you don’t have much depth
or charm,
or much of anything else.
I don’t care to hear you talk
or interact
or overcome whatever implausible odds
have been stacked against you.

I don’t care about the soundtrack
following you around
or the wacky comedic hijinks.
I’m not interested
in anything that you’ve shown me
so
could you show me some skin?
And some insertion?
And some sex?
Really,
before this movie ends
can you two do SOMETHING?

Well,
the rolling credits tell me
the answer is “no.”
Thanks anyway, guys.
Maybe you’ll get it on
in the inevitable sequel.