It is possible

in retrospect
after some consideration
that I was not the greatest of guests
when I stayed on your couch
for those three months
last spring.

I have talked it over
with advice columnists and gurus
and we have concluded
that drinking all your beer
and orange juice
and heart medication and drano
was perhaps somewhat rude.

In addition,
the act of soiling your sheets
was disrespectful
and should not have been repeated
with such regularity
and specific aim.

I find it hard to apologize
but I recognize
that trying to sleep with your boyfriend
was uncouth
– though irrelevant, really,
since he would have none of me.

All told
I must admit
that the occurrences
of last spring
were inconsiderate
and uncool
and regrettable, certainly
and will absolutely not be repeated
if you let me move in tomorrow
– though, this time
I’ll need the bed.