That may not be the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard
but
it’s almost certainly the lamest you’ve ever offered.
"If Brother Ray could do it,
why not me?"
Because you’re not Brother Ray,
you haven’t been Brother Ray,
and, odds are, you won’t become Brother Ray.
Still, if things change,
feel free to play that dumb card.

The next time you’re Ray Charles
you can have your affairs.
The next time you’re Ray Charles
you’ll have earned those drugs.
The next time you wake up
and discover that you’ve redefined popular music
– and thus, popular culture –
well, THEN you can go ahead and slap people with a thin stick
whenever you’re out for a walk.

Of course, I don’t imagine that happening anytime soon
– but
if so,
if you uncover that you’ve suddenly transformed
into that particularly significant figure,
if you look in the mirror and see
that you’re Ray Charles
– then you still won’t be him,
you idiot,
because you could see!