When you deliver the waitress to my bed
make her dress for the occasion
in jewels and stilettos
and the finest gingham apron my riches can buy.

When you deliver the waitress to my bed
ensure that she understands
just what is at stake:
the risk of my displeasure,
the clear and present nature
of how the customer is always right,
and the five star Michelin rating in the offing.

When you deliver the waitress to my bed
pay for the meal
and order yourself a dessert, too.
I’ll handle the tip.

When you deliver the waitress to my bed
do it in all haste
for
that is precisely how I will act
on said delivery upon its arrival.