The douche was in the bike lane
so I sped up and ran past him.
Well,
over him.
Actually, what I did was simply ride faster
in the bike lane
– the fact that he was already there
seemed secondary.

It was a stand I took
(on bike)
for right-of-way travelers everywhere.
For if I didn’t defend my rights
to bicycle in the bicycle lane,
who is to say what sort of chaos might ensue?

I would never be so immodest as to call myself a hero
but
if the bike shoe fits,
then smash it down the road of any fucker dumb enough
to get in my way.

So
No, thank you.
I don’t need a reward
or an award
or to be documented as a ward of the state
– whatever that may be –
but
if you could take a look
at all the citations
misdemeanors
and warrants against my good name
and maybe make them go away,
I would be very appreciative.