That Charlie Chaplin sure fucked a lot of young girls.

He got married, like, nineteen times,
and always to women who were decades junior

– and sometimes sophomore*.

He liked to tell people what to do
which is why he
is the only artist to control every aspect
of a major motion picture

including make-up and key grip.

He liked to tell people what to do
which is why he had to stop the man who stole his mustache.

The Great Dictator was produced,

to get the ‘stache back

from Hynkel.

He liked to tell people what to do

so he made his own studio
united in keeping all others
from bossing around
the Little Tramp.

He liked to tell people what to do

and became the King of New York

even when he wasn’t allowed
to visit.

He liked to tell people what to do,

Chaplin did,

so he decided to marry every teenager he could
since everyone knows how amenable they can be.

* Artistic License was applied in this work

liberally.