I am never going to catch up on that lost sleep
no matter how much I convalesce.
I do not believe
the brain cells I lost
from the wine
and the weed
and the wood alcohol
and the all-night card games
and walks through locked parks
and moonlit kisses
under sun-kissed lights
will ever be replaced.

I am behind in so many ways:
tired
stupid
unshaved
or -bathed.
I am not the man I once was
and I doubt I’ll be become him again.
Not easily.
Not for a while.

I am changed
I think
for the worse
and
it was well worth it.