I wasn’t at your show because I had to help a sick friend.
I wasn’t at your show because my grandfather died.
I wasn’t at your show because
there was another show down the block
that was way off schedule
and I couldn’t get from one to the other in time.
I wasn’t at your show because that show was better.

I wasn’t at your show because my train pass expired
I wasn’t at your show ’cause my bike chain got broke.
I wasn’t at your show for political convictions.
I wasn’t at your show; religion forbade it.
A girl kept me away
I didn’t see the flyer in time
The bouncer wouldn’t let me in
There was a beautiful mind on TV
I was out of gas
The racists stopped me
The terrorists won
The bees attacked.
The aliens…
The aliens!

I wasn’t at your show
because I had a show of my own across town
earlier that night
and you haven’t been to see me
in seven years!
Now, granted
I haven’t been to one your gig in seventeen years
but… really…
I wasn’t at your show.
I couldn’t make it.
Cope.