I liked it when you were calling me.
I liked it when you laughed
all the time
in my presence.
I like it when you bought me presents
– small things –
just because it was our Quarter Year Anniversary
or the thousandth time we heard that Billie song
or it was Thursday.
I liked it when you kissed me.

I liked so much of our time together
and
I know I didn’t say it enough
and I know that I wasn’t reciprocal
and I know that I wasn’t expressive enough
never was too good at telling you what I liked and how
and when
but I liked being with you.
I liked you
a lot.

And I don’t like what happened
and I’m not happy with how I acted
and I don’t like the person I’ve become
in your absence.
Worse, I don’t like who I think I’ve reverted back to
this small man who
if you were still talking to me
you’d realize you never had good reason to like.
I don’t like what my future holds.

But
I still like thinking back on our times
at the diner
and the theater
and park
and
I just liked you so much.