I thought I could do it.
I wanted to do it.
I tried to do it.
I was doing it
for a while.
I believed I was
at least.
I worked
so frigging hard
to be your backdoor man
the guy you go to
in the shadows.

I sought to serve
as your part time lover
when you couldn’t get your loving
from another
when your fella wasn’t around
or when your man
was bringing you down.

I thought that some of you
was better than none of you.
I tried to give you what you needed
while you gave me
why you had available.
I did what I could
to make do.

I tried to be satisfied.
I tried to be yours.
I tried to do it
– and I thought I could.
I was so close.
Why wouldn’t you let me keep at it?