You are probably asleep right now
which is the best time to talk to you
to tell you important things
– things too important for me to say
when you can hear them.

You are probably dreaming of somebody else
somebody who can provide you all the things
you say are not important
all the things that would provide you the support
the security
you so richly deserve.

You are probably rising and falling
to the imagined rhythms of another
an other individual far better suited
to give you
everything I am unable to.
You are probably quite satisfied
snoring
thinking of him
or her
and remembering a fictional life
that will collapse as quickly
as everything about us will
when you learn about my horrifying behavior
and terrible choices.

You are probably better off learning
what I keep form you
in these ridiculously late hours
when I tell you everything you need to know
but I am woefully unable to share.