Be more transparent.

Be more consistent.

Be kinder to animals
except emus
who know what they did.

Be less willful
and woeful
and definitely less wary of purple leopard skin styles.
No animals were hurt in their designs
– really.

Be more prepared to help others
who meet at least two
of the following criteria:
wealthy
attractive
drunk or otherwise malleable
a cast member of Star Trek: Next Generation.

Kick babies much less often
unless they asked for it
by wearing a Kick Me sign
or a shit-eating grin
or asking a question.

Make resolutions in private
so
when I eventually break them?
No transparency.