I think I have decided
that it is in my best interest
to hate you
rather than the option I had previously
been subscribed to
these last few months.

In your presence
in your sphere
– a choice currently unavailable –
I find myself smaller, shakier
more disrespected – mostly by myself.
I have stopped being
the person I most seek to be.

On your lands
wearing your leash
I am polite, considerate
or, at least,
I try.
I no longer write
for I lack the inspiration
or wherewithal to create.
In your presence
I am tamed.

With you gone,
leaving me free to roam,
I am returned to my truest self.
I can eat the cheese curls in bed.
I will drink the thousandth box o’ wine
with no one to stop me.

Alone,
mine has become
a house of rage and love
and I am
if not happy
at least again
the person I am meant to be.

So the current state
where I am abandoned
is preferable. I think,
to the alternative.
Stay away.
It is almost certainly
for the best.