If I knew it was the last time
I was going to see you
I probably would have cursed a lot less.
Had I known they were the last words you’d hear from me,
I might not have used “cunt” quite so much.

If I knew it would be our last touch
I would have taken the quarters out of my pants.
Had I realized what was coming next
I would have been kinder
milder
less explosive.

I would have tried to make peace
if I understood that it was to be the end
so we could have fonder memories between us
and maybe
– just maybe –
you wouldn’t have killed me.