I’m sorry things played out
as they did.
I wish
I was a better host
or a host at all.
I’m sorry i was unwilling to adventure
the way you wanted
at the right time
or in the right ways.
I’m ashamed
I didn’t offer you
what you needed.

But
did you see what I did do?
I emptied this drawer for you.
I bought that toothbrush for you.
I washed dishes
Laundered sheets
I cleaned up six years worth of comics
for you.

These may seem like small actions
or just gestures
but they were difficult
requiring some steeling of the nerves
for scouring of pans
or washing of butt.

I did not take these actions on lightly
and had not made these choices for most
but you are special
and you deserve the best
and while
the best was not available
I did what I could.
I am striving
to make myself
better.