If I’d known you were suicidal
I’d have tried to stop you
or help you
or talk to you about it
or keep an eye on you
to make sure everything was all right.

If I’d known you were suicidal
I’d have called more
and smiled more
and offered to drive you more places
with less resistance.

If I’d known you were
– look. I’m sorry.
I know things reached a really ugly point
and I know I could have been more considerate
and compassionate
and I could have searched for the signals
that were obviously there.
I know now
much more.

But you could have told me.
You could have asked for help
or taken it
from all the sources that were available
even if not me.
This wasn’t my responsibility.
You don’t need to leave me so guilty.
At least now
you’ve become free
and while I disagree
with the steps you took
I’m glad at least
that you’re no longer suicidal.