There are times
well after midnight
but well before dawn
when I wake
and wander past walls
wondering.

I think of you
of course
and about a high school sophomore
I knew
thirty years ago.
I think about dance steps
and aborted novels
and broken guitars
and tables
and paintbrushes never cleaned.

I think of family
and old friends
and never lovers
and some requited, too.
I think about pets
and I think about you.

I smile a little
but it is a sad smile
as I recall all that has been lost
mostly through failure
to strive.
I think about what I could have done
and I think that soon maybe
I could make a fresh start of it.

Invariably
I return to sleep
with vigor and verve
but forget the lessons of the night
upon awaking in the morning
to how things always are.