I can see
how you wouldn’t see it but
all the cleaning I’d been doing
I was doing for you.
For us.

I’d been trying
in my own dumb way
to build us a home
out of the few building blocks
at my disposal.

I thought
that shoveling the shit
out of my own Augean stables
would make my place
appealing to your face.
I thought I could do it.
I thought I had the strength.

The place remained too hideous
for you to see
of course.
It wasn’t even worthy
of your review
which applies to me as well
after I barred your entry.

It’s simply
I didn’t think you deserved
to have to go through all that crap.