If I’ve learned one thing in 2016,
it’s Elvis Costello.
If I discovered any song this year,
it’s "Polythene Pam".
If I met any Python this year,
it’s Douglas Adams.
If I heard anything this year,
it was "you’re a great guy."

I’m not clear
what any of these mean
but I experienced some other things,
too,
this year.

If I danced any dance this year,
it was sweaty.
If I killed anything lately,
it’s still dead.
If I dyed at all recently,
it’s brunette
and if I watched any horror his year,
it was with Vampires
not fucking zombies.

Fucking zombies suck.

If I hated at all lately,
it was because of paralysis.
If I was rejected at all,
it was due to fear.
If I came to any conclusions,
I can’t share them
at least
until next year.