Look at this guy
this sweaty pathetic boy.
What harm can it do?
Why not help a brother out?
Give the guy a gig.

He probably has some friends
who might come out to see him
if he asks really nicely.
He probably owes people money
and can tell them he’ll pay ’em back
at the gig.
That could work…

I mean, come on.
The guy clearly has so little to live for.
He’s gonna work hard to get folks to come out.
I mean HARD.
What else is he gonna do with his days,
with so little hair on his head
and so much everywhere else?
Who’d hire him?
Who’d date him?

Help him out.
Think of it as community service.
Give ‘im a gig.