I was just a normal human boy
until I was bitten
by a radioactive nun
and then I gained all of a nun’s powers.
I became Nun-Man
which isn’t really as neat as you’d expect.

Why couldn’t I have been bitten
by a radioactive blanket?
I could have named myself The Wet Blanket
with the ability to dampen enthusiasm
with a single snark.

Maybe that Science Fair could have included Hostess Products
and I’d have been bitten
by a radioactive Twinkie.
I could be Twinkie the Kid IRL
and squeeze my super sweet filling
all over anyone I wanted to.

If only I was somewhere else
with some other super powers.
Or maybe the radioactivity
could have just killed me.
Oh, the super humanity!