When my father left
it was because
he said
he no longer felt the same way
about my mother.

I could not understand
how he could betray us
in such a way.
If he loved us once
why wouldn’t he work
to maintain that love?
How could he just
decide
to be done?

I swore
that I would not so easily
turn off my feelings.
If I declared for someone
I would not abandon her
not for anything.

There are many oaths
I swore as a youth
and I have not kept them all.
I promised myself
I would own San Francisco
by now.
But I have tried to maintain all that I could,
I maintained many a truth
I’d exclaimed in an empty room
decades past.

My love is not a spigot
so easily turned on and off.
I will not claim devotion
if I cannot stick it out.
Because of this
I have rarely made the claim
and now
my love
which is not a spigot
seems to be somewhat rusted
and cannot be turned on
at all.

This is what happens
when you follow oaths
that were made
when you were barely an amoeba.
That is activity
I shall never partake in again.
So is it sworn.