I’ll regret this later
I’m sure, but
I wanted to hear your voice.
I wanted to know how you’re doing.
I wanted to see your spirit
again.

This won’t go well.
It never does.
When I succumb to these addictions
I always feel worse about myself
at the end.
I hurt
and I’m embarrassed
by the significance of my constantly
drawing from the same wells
which have poisoned me
every previous time.

I’ll get ashamed
like always
and I know all of this is coming.
I know how I’ll feel later
but for now
I just need to hear you.
Call me back
please.