You asked me once
if I thought I’d ever be happy
always striving to find someone
who met my exhaustingly detailed standards.
You wondered
I believe
if it could ever be satisfying
to constantly live in hope
instead of living
with true companionship.

At the time
I answered in the affirmative
believing that joy could be found
in the quest
no matter how long
or arduous
or fruitless
it might prove to be.

Now
my life has changed.
It’s been some time
since I was so positive
about my forecast of the future
and I wonder now
increasingly
how this could ever turn out right.

I do have faith in the journey,
though it is smaller than in earlier days.
I continue to have some small belief
that someday
I still might find
what I’m looking for
and the right person
will be right there for me
if I only have patience
and fortitude
and –

Fuck it.
Fuck the quest.
It might be time
to lower my standards
and give you a call.