How’s the new place?
Has your roommate killed you in your sleep yet?
Have you found your books rearranged?
Have you found your toothpaste squeezed strangely
or most of your milk drunk?

How’re your bank accounts?
Does your cat seem more jumpy?
Have you heard crawling noises in the night?
Are there smells you can’t identify?
Spells you’ve never heard?
Curses against gazelles
in any form?

What’s it like in the apartment
with that colorful man?
Has your roommate done anything to you
that requires a code?
Can you blink it in Morse?

Is everything OK?
Tell me:
you know I only want the best for you.