She told me not to touch her head
that she didn’t like it
which made me think
there might be something in her past
that we should talk about.
But she didn’t want to talk about it
so I didn’t touch her head.

I really wanted to though.
I wanted to cradle it
and hold it
and hold her
for hours on end
exhaustingly indifferent to her wants and desires
which might have been the point.

So I respected her wishes
and kept my hands to myself
while hers
roamed.

Was I rewarded
for my restraint
and was it the better path?
To this day
I do not know
because, see,
I really wanted to touch her head.