I don’t want to make too big a deal
out of this but
I think I’ve done something good
and I deserve a lollipop.
Where’s my fucking lollipop?

I have not raped a single girl
in this last week.
I mean
I haven’t raped anyone ever
but could I get a smidgen of credit for it?
At least this last week?
That’s all I’m asking for.
That and a lollipop
and maybe a date on Friday night
with benefits.

Nothing?
Judas’ Flippity Priest!
I see the bowl of sweets right over there…
Look
if no one’s gonna reward me for my good behavior
I’m just taking a lollipop for myself.

What:
You think you’re gonna stop me?