If you weren’t so sleep deprived
if you hadn’t been so hungover
if your eyes were less blinded
by that blazing dawn
if the calculator app hadn’t so mysteriously frozen
if you’d been able to remember the lyrics to that tune from that show
if your health wasn’t so impaired
and the ice cream hadn’t melted
and the squirrels had a much diminished thirst,
none of this would have happened
which may offer some comfort.

Does it?