I don’t mean to alarm you,
but the last poem you wrote
was a comedian’s punchline
and the one before that
was once a detergent ad.
That piece from last week
clearly came from Dylan
– though you might have heard it
by way of Adam Green.

I’m not accusing you
or any sort of theft
but it does seem
that a great many of your ideas
are also the ideas
of a great many others.
Your originality sense
might be picking up
a whole lot of extra signals.

No need for alarm,
of course.
There’s a format of credit
you can use with words.
Just say "After so-and-so."
Like, in your piece
"Beers of a Clown,"
just say "Beers of a Clown, After Smokey"
and you’re all good.

If you write "Rock Me, Tyler Perry,"
you can call it "Rock Me, Tyler Perry, after Falco."
If you write anything that you stole from me
– which is really quite a lot –
just say "After Jon Berger."

"I’m the Greatest, After Jon Berger."
"Jesus Was, After Jon Berger."
"The Ballad of Martin Scorcese,
After Jon Berger."
It’s not so hard, is it?
Go ahead:
Try.