You know
for years
I have lived the open mic life
and encouraged everyone
to step up and sing a lead
or dance a step
or read a poem or twelve.
I have long upheld the principle
that anyone ought to have a chance
to express themselves
somehow
at some time.

I have found the exception.
You challenge my perception
of what is what
and how people ought to behave.
Should I redefine my beliefs
based on your example?
I’m still undecided.

It’s not that you’re bad
– although, good god,
you are QUITE bad,
whether in song or story
or essay or impression
or very recently
as a cartoonist.
But as I said
it’s not your awfulocity
that gets my goat.
It’s the sense of entitlement
you express
in every single solipsistic subject
you approach.
You think you have a right
to present your thoughts.
You seem to believe
that we could be interested
in what you have to say.

We don’t.
We have better things to do
than listen to your ill-conceived ideas
your expressions of arrogance
your unsubtle sense of superiority.
It’s a bitch for us
to be enslaved by your ego
for even the occasional instants
at an open mic.

I don’t yet believe
that the needs of the many
should silence the idiocy of the you.
I’m not ready
to have you stopped.
Perhaps in honor
of that kindness on my part
you would be willing
to shut up for a year or two.