When I was a young ‘un, I liked Hide and Seek a lot
but with the march of time, I found I still enjoyed it – not!
Older and wiser, an inebriated I
discovered something better than just closing my eyes

and then searching satisfaction via hunting for the It.
The game just felt too simple; I could never quite commit.
So by the time of puberty I’d found a fake ID
and used them both to get cheap booze and sex relentlessly.

Drunk fucking is probably the best.
I recommend it highly; this I can attest.
If I had to pick one thing that passes any test,
it’s fucking while drunk that would tippytop that list.

Few activities I love lack any detriments
but alcohol-fueled sex has only minor increments
of difficulty such as risk of limpy whiskey dick:
trying to light her molten waxes with a floppy unlit wick.

Still, I’d have but half my chances, absent alcohol
so nightly I acknowledge its illustrious clarion call
and head right to my favorite bars to buy myself some drink
and find a chick to lick my dick before beer goggles blink.

If I could fuck drunk, I would do it every day.
It beats sober stimulation in almost every way.
The biggest problem I foresee with constant drunken sex
is how often I awake hungover with an angry ex.