I blew out my back
in an epic bout
of masturbation
just before,
in an intriguing act of optimism,
I opted to carry my drywall out to the street
taking the wide sheets downstairs
in the middle of the night
despite my spinal aches.

It seemed the only time to do it
since the Accu-News Report
told me we had six days of dry weather coming.
That left enough time
for anyone who wanted my leavings
to take them off the sidewalk
bringing drywall home
for any building needs.

I wanted to donate the goods.
I wanted to do good.
I wanted to leave my apartment good and empty
but with all the snows that have come
since the sheets left my house
I see I have succeeded
in only one regard.

And now
as Accu-News continues to lie
as the drywall dissolves in my block
and my back further breaks
I see that everything has gone wrong
when all I wanted was to be righteous.
What a jerk off.