Who’s a bad writer?
Who’s a talentless little hack?
Who got lucky
in his first few submissions in high school
and coasted on luck
and a curious form of charm
ever since?
Who’s a pretty little fraud?
You are!
Oh, yes; YOU are!

I don’t think
that I’ve ever seen a useless nobody
as pointless as you
in all my life, have I?
You’re so good at being crap
it’s amazing.
You’re the best at WOAT,
aren’t you?
Ooh, boogie widdle woompums.
Yes!

I could just eat you up
and vomit you out
right after.
Good for you.
GOOD
FOR
YOU!