Hey, fuck you guys.
They loved this in Peoria.
The stuff that you’re being oh so polite over,
this shit killed a couple of states from here.
They adored it
and me.

They lifted me up
by shins and needles,
raised over head,
and paraded me down to Chamber of Commerce
or someplace equally lame
and lauded me as the city’s favorite son.
You get what I’m saying?
Peoria loved me;
capital L U V
you see?

So I don’t know what’s up your butts.
You should relax a little
like the folks of Central Illinois
or at least drink as much as them.
Maybe then you’d appreciate my clever wordplay,
my incessant allusions,
my expressive idiot savantitry.

Yeah, I think you’d really get me
if this place had a six drink minimum.