I’ve been thinking about it
for over ten years now, Billie.
There weren’t many people in our group
at that party
in the woods.
You saw me staring at you
– you couldn’t have missed me.
I’d been drinking a little
so it was hard to concentrate
and I must have been staring hard
following across the room
in your long floral print.

You were the belle of the ball
but you didn’t seem to know.
I was getting more courage
often liquid variety
on a bench away from the crowd
when you came up to me
looked at me for a bit
and asked for a light.

You were the one that started it.
You instigated with me.
You.

All this time
I felt I was the pursuer
the creepy freaky man
who couldn’t keep his hands, his eyes
and his mouth to himself.
But you decided I was worth talking to.
You got the ball rolling.
Maybe I was going to
but I hadn’t.
You did.

I’m not to blame.
I’m not at fault.
I’m didn’t start the fire, Billie.
You set this all up.
For god’s sake
you don’t even smoke!