To my neighbor at the laundromat
who took the still-wet clothes
out of my dryer
and left them to mildew on the counter for three hours:
there is a thing called politesse
in our society,
in which citizens look out
for the needs of one another.
It is because of this politesse
that we share a language
a common core of beliefs
and a desire to improve one another’s lives.

You have betrayed
that presumed sense of politesse.
You have done some small part
in severing the lines of civility
that keep our common culture stable.
Your behavior is that sort that threatens us
to the very core,
leaving our walls and gates
open to the barbarian horde.

You are a monstrosity
upon the skin of the earth
and you must be picked
and isolated and then sent
to camps for reeducation
and probably decomposition.

It is in the spirit of such assessment
that I put a match to your clothes
so that they could dry even faster.
Let the smoldering remains of your wardrobe
show you how enlightened people behave
within civilization.

You’re welcome.