Your assignment
should you choose to accept it
is to be less awful.
Your project
is to become cool
or less of a tool
or in some way not a fool,
if you dare.

Wear shirts that fit.
Look people in the eye.
Don’t stutter or mutter
or flutter around like some creepy butterfly
– a moth, I mean.
Don’t be a moth.
Or a sloth, I guess.
Or a three legged poodle
or a pock-marked cockatoo.
Just don’t be weird.
Can you handle that?

I think you can.
I hope you can.
Either way
I’m not willing to deal with you
in your current state
so do the work,
become someone tolerable
or keep out of my way.
Either works.
Good luck
– you may need it.