Let me give you some advance warning:
When we give our wedding vows
mine will not be memorized.
I’ll have written them
right before the wedding
so the ideas will be most fresh.

I’m gonna make sure
we get to the cake first.
Before the meal, sure
but maybe before the service.
Why save the best
for last?
You can guarantee, though,
that afterwards
I’ll definitely be shoving
that cream machine
down your mouth
early and often.

I talked to Rocko
and he’s already started work
on his Best Man speech
filled with tales of strippers
and shemales
and misadventures
– assuming we can wait
to get married
until after he gets out.

I was thinking
ours could be a smurf-themed event
with you cosplayed up as Smurfette
and me dressed like Horny Smurf
but that point is negotiable
– maybe.

I’ve put a lot of thought
into this entire affair
and I want everything we do
to speak to us
and our lives
and our love.
I can’t wait
to start our lives together.

Nor, apparently,
could I wait to tell you
all these details of the ceremony
when I haven’t yet proposed.