Did you wake up with the sun this morning?
I did.
Not because I had to;
I just did it.
Does that make me a better person than you?
Yeah, it probably does.

Now, I’m not one to brag
about my amazing communion with nature
while you were probably fast asleep
dreaming of a more enlightened life.
It would be cruel
to expect you to live up to my example
but perhaps
knowing how it can be done,
starting the day with cocks,
that
could give you something to strive for.

Someday, perhaps,
you can be like me
and have some jerk’s car alarm
jolt you awake
right around four,
and then get into a gallon of mint cookie dough
mixed with a liter of Jolt,
proving that your day
is already well under way.

Someday, that is,
you know,
if you’re lucky.