It was a lame game
I got into for a bad reason
and I regret it
– not for the bad reason –
which was a good reason to regret it
– probably a better reason to regret it,
really, than the one that I do –
but because of the outcome.

Now
I have become too popular
too famous in the wrong crowds
and everyone knows my name
that I have to turn my head
every which way
for all these people
who I don’t know
(who? Whom? Whomwhich?
Whomiam? Whatever!)
and I now doubt myself in
weirder ways that I would’ve thought.

This used to be my town
in that I was comfortable in its confines
but now it is MY town
and I don’t know what is going on.
I am racing to keep up
and I don’t believe I like this.
My breath is always out.
My eyes are always twitched.
My back is always twisted
trying to keep my bald spot
out of the view
of the people behind me.

I always seem to miss a few.
They always seem to know.

I don’t know how to maintain this state.
I don’t know I want to.

I know how I got here:
that lame game fame
but it cannae live forever.
I just want it to die.