If I cared more about my job
I wouldn’t be in this position.
If I cared more about my life
I wouldn’t be where I am.
If I cared more about you
I’d probably be with you right about now.
If I cared less about Batman
I definitely wouldn’t have this ratty underwear
I really should get rid of.

If I ate more oatmeal
I might have my blood pressure beat.
If I ate more vegetables
I might consume less red meat.
If I were really slutty
I’d join the Seventh Fleet
and if I practiced my moves
I wouldn’t have two left feet.

But I am what I am
not a Sam or a yam
nor a flim-flam ma’am
with some slammin’ dance-gams
after playing some Wham!

Nope. With no ands, buts or ifs…
With nothing but wishes…
It’s come down to this:
This.