There is a trick that I used to try
when I wasn’t able to rev myself up
to do the thing I needed to do.
I would look at myself
(if there was no mirror around
I would look down at my lap)
and I would say,
"You can’t do it.
You’re nothing.

"You’re incompetent.
You’re insignificant.
There’s no way you can get it going.
She’s not gonna like you.
You can’t make the call.
You can’t even cross the street.
Don’t even try it, man.
Fuck it: quit."

I figured, I think
(I never got a definitive answer
as to what the hell I was doing),
that I was fucking with myself
playing devil’s advocate.
If I could psych myself down enough
to argue, to prove me wrong,
then I could get some steam going
and do whatever it was that needed doing.

It worked maybe twenty percent of the time
which is twenty percent more
than the other times
when I was a whimpering simp
off in a hole
doing nothing about nothing.

Somewhere along the line
I guess I stopped using that strategy.
Maybe I’m all about positivity now!

Go… team?