I know you’ve been wondering
what to get me this holiday season
for Krinklemas and Hysterectomy Week
and whatnot and wherefore
and I’m happy to tell you what I’m hoping for:
Piece on earth.
Wait, hold on: pieces of earth.
Pieces of land.
I’d like you to get me real estate.

I know. I’m sure
that you can’t afford to get me much.
I’m not asking for the world here
but if everybody does their part
giving just a little bit
I might be able to end up with a pretty parcel
a hunk of a chunk of land.

That’s all I’m really asking for:
a crapload of property.
A chance to be a landsman.
An opportunity to be a lord
a master of serfs
a commander of lessers
a better person than all around me!
Is that too much to ask?

Well then,
think of it as a combined gift
for Krinklemas and Hysterectomy Week
– and Kwanzaa too.