Like when you set up a competition
– but it’s internal
– and it’s weird, like you couldn’t really explain it
not in a way that would make sense to anyone else
and you start the competition
and you know nothing’s gonna happen
if you lose the competition
because you’re racing against yourself
– even if it’s not a race
– ’cause maybe it’s skipping over cracks
lest your mother’s spine be inevitably severed
or something outrageous like that.

It’s Obsessive-compulsive disorder, certainly,
but maybe not diagnosable
even if the competition you’ve agreed to
(agreed? Who agreed?
Who’s shaking hands with themselves over this crap?)
is something you cannot shake
– like shaking uncontrollably every time you pass a Shoney’s
– or ordering a dog every time you’re at Gray’s Papaya.
It’s weird though, right?

Like that.